One of my favorite life hacks is allowing myself to go all the way to the worst-case scenario. I find it especially helpful when I'm facing the experience of panic, anxiety, or another crippling form of fear. Going deeper into the fear can feel counterintuitive, but when I do this, time and again, it enables me to discover what's at the root of my experience. I get to see what I'm really, really afraid of and address myself with understanding. Inevitably, it leads me into some form of recovery and a place of fresh perspective.
Now, does this decision always bring resolution to my situation? Absolutely not. But when I practice this, I'm better able to adapt my thoughts, feelings, and actions in a new direction because I see the “why” behind my fear. Then, I can either invite comfort and support from those who love me or grow softer in compassion so I can offer it to myself (or both!).
My old practice was to attempt to level-down the anxiety or panic in a way that ultimately lead me to avoid it which, in turn, caused it to increase exponentially. I'd try to sugar my way out of it, spend time with people, spend time alone, sleep too much, work too much, eat too much, walk it out, binge-tv-watch it out. Over time, I found these unhelpful strategies left me in a harder spot. Do you have a favorite avoidance strategy?
Truth be told, there are days when I still find myself doing these things. It's like I go on auto-pilot and when I realize it, I have to practice something new. I have to work at creating a new pathway in my brain for dealing with hard stuff. So I investigate by asking, “What are you avoiding right now?” or “What are you afraid of right now?” or perhaps more bluntly, “What's up with you right now?” When I notice, when I ask, I typically go deep into panic or anxiety. It's more than unpleasant. It's exhausting. It's scary. I wonder if I'll be able to come out the other side. Still at the end of the day, I'm finding how I'm moving forward through hard things as I go into the worst-case scenario.
Maybe it'll help you, too.