Have you said or heard someone else say, “Make it happen!” When you said or heard that, have you noticed what rises up inside of you? Do you feel motivated, stressed, excited, overwhelmed, uncertain? Do you feel energized or do you shutdown?
My most memorable experiences with that phrase or similar phrasing takes me back to working with quite a few leaders over the years who’ve operated with consistently high expectations. Making it happen was their way of being. Ever meet someone like that? Ever work for, or with, someone like that? Live with someone like that?
The beauty of these folks is they have a tendency to get a whole lot done in their lives and in the world. They see blocks as opportunities to breakthrough and truly live with the expectation that it, whatever it is, can and will be done. They push us beyond our own personal limitations to accomplish and achieve more than we might think is possible. Those who are greatest at making it happen in a healthy way have a tendency to light fires inside of others—the kind of fires that cultivate momentum and keep us breaking through obstacles long after they are gone. It can be a remarkable experience to be with someone who is like this and lives it well. And the truth is, we need these folks more than we know.
But like anything that’s really good, it can also be really, really bad. I’ve experienced some of these same leaders expect that everyone must and will rise to a standard they’ve set when the truth is, either the people didn’t care to or it wasn’t really in them to get there for a variety of reasons. The “make it happen” mentality and the constant stress that can be associated with it can take a massive toll on someone’s well-being. A friend recently shared how “you can’t sprint all of the time” as we talked about some realities they’ve been facing. I thought the metaphor was spot-on.
We are not made to make it happen all of the time, and when there is an expectation that we can, the consequences are often a depletion of energy and motivation. Powerful momentum can be lost when a culture is founded upon a “make it happen mentality.” Especially when resources aren’t properly allotted with respect to the person and their role, goals aren’t crystal clear and measurable, and when there’s a lack of understanding of why we must make it happen. Attaching meaning is so valuable as making something happen for the sake of making it happen doesn’t exactly inspire or motivate. (Try to say that 10-times fast!) And, what if there’s no real accountability if the thing we’re supposed to make happen doesn’t happen? You can forget it ever feeling like it matters for real.
How in the world does this apply to your life and my life today? I think whether we’re aware of it or not, we hear this type of messaging all of the time. It might be more direct in our vocational lives but it could be that we simply hear it or see it out in our social communities and society at large. We could be watching others around us who are “making it happen” and comparing ourselves. Maybe we think less of ourselves because we don’t make things happen like someone else we know. Maybe we think more of ourselves because we’re the ones making it all happen. Some of us might need a fire lit up inside of us because we’re not really moving forward in a meaningful way and it’s truly time to make some stuff happen. Some of us might need to lay off making stuff happen because we’re too closely identifying our worth and value by what we do (or what we think we’re not doing).
What’s meaningful for you to make happen in your life right now? Why? What does it mean if you make that thing happen? What would it mean if you didn’t?
I’ve been noticing my own propensity lately to do a lot of tasks. If you could see the number of browser windows open on my system in this moment, you might be like, “Jessica, slow your roll.” Each window represents a task I’m working on or about to start. Honestly, it’s kind-of overwhelming. I realized late yesterday or early today that I’ve been accomplishing a whole lot lately, but I haven’t made the time to sit back and look at the bigger picture. As a result, I’ve gotten so caught up and even lost in the details that I’ve been ending my days knowing I’ve worked hard, but the past 20 or so have felt like a complete blur. I think an aspect of this is pandemic-life experience and I don’t think I’m alone in this experience at this point in our collective journey. That said, I do believe I have the opportunity to evaluate what exactly I’m “making happen” to ensure that the meaning attached, the level of priority on the task list, and the scheduling of those tasks and resources to accomplish them better reflect my why and my where from here on out. (As in, where I’m headed and this helps me get there because …)
So if you need an excuse to pause today, to step back and look at the whole forest instead of seeing the finer details of the bark on the trees in front of your face (as I did), pause. Make the time. Allow the meaningful fires to be lit inside of you, not under you. Allow the pressure applied to be the kind of pressure that produces what is most valuable. And mix as many metaphors as you’d like. I’ve clearly taken liberty today in that regard. Ha.
If I could sum up the above in a long sentence it’d be this: know what you’re making happen and why you’re making it happen and where it’s going to lead you so you can build and inspire and gain powerful momentum to do what only you can do right here and right now. I’ll be doing the same over here. If you need help sorting out where you’re headed and why that matters, I’m here. Send me a message and we’ll get together for a complimentary coaching consultation. I’d be honored to help you!